Yea, yea, yea, I know that I was supposed to be on some kind of find-yourself epic journey when I embarked on my adventure across Spain. And yea, I know that from the outside, my stress levels due to a crappy economy, a relationship bombing out and no clear directions of where I wanted to go in my career or where I wanted to live - led one of my friends to predict that I would be on an EatPrayLove adventure...
I just didn't want to believe it. And FFS, that is where I seem to have ended up. Not that I did any praying, let's just get that straight. But, I did sort of find the core pieces of my happiness and can now appreciate the quirkiness of a boy who refuses to impulse shop. I would have to call it love. If for nothing else than I find his idiosyncrasies amusing.
For one, he who grew up in austere DDR, has no problem with saving a euro, or a sit-down shower is the same man who plunked down thousands of euros in cash on a BMW sedan. When the deal was good. He dresses in sport clothing everyday. Black pants, black socks and black or grey or red tshirt and cop shoes. It's because he bikes to work, see? Everyday. Come winter or rain. Because it is through the park.
And, he wants to keep it that way. So, even if we both work on the east (or northeast) part of town, we will be living on the west side of town because we can then bike through the park to and fro work. And, well, it is the up-and-coming neighborhood on the west side. It has been for awhile. Likely, it won't get there anytime too soon as I doubt the hippy-posers and the punk-dyed post teens are still gripping onto their rebellion. In the gentrified neighborhoods, the yuppies are trolling their perfect little offspring in REI style'd bicycle trolleys and buying overly expensive organic vegs and fairtrade clothing. Likely it is the same clothing from the goths or Emos, but without the frilled lace and washed until the black has faded out to emu color. It's recycled, hello!
So I spend my days trying to justify activity when it doesn't involve A) survival; as I have a comfortable place to crash B) getting a good cup of coffee; as after Spain I cannot justify three times the cost for inferiority C) finding something yummy to eat; as that doesn't really exist except the bratwursts and one can only do that so often or D) shopping; when there isn't any space to collect things or anything justifiable to purchase that hadn't been purchased and purged in my former life. Except books. But, that's an addiction.
Okay, so sans shopping, sans cafes, sans wandering, all I can really do is question why I am here. Yes, Germany does have a good economy. The people are hard-working (ish) and they care to read to the bottom of my CV instead of insisting that I teach la infancia. This is good. But, they are so damn serious. Waiters don't smile. People aren't laughing on the streets. Botellons are only in the park for the homeless. The local fauna is boring (Dumpfplauderer), quivering in their corners (Hausmaus) or sloth-like (Faultier, Koala). I miss Spain and its color and its energy. But this is where he is and he is something special.
Therefore, I believe I am duty-bound to add some spirit here. Or at least open up a good tapas restaurant with a good wine selection, loud televisions, and real tapas. And it will be a hit. And, then I'll walk down the streets with a small paintbrush and swipe all of the earth-tone buggies with purple or dayglo or something. Oh, how my evil plan will shape up.
Any ideas, let me know. EPL is now Operation CAC - Camino Absorb Color.
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